"I used to think talks like this weren't really important until my friend ended their life, this is very real"

“If you would like to stay back and ask Tanya about anything in the presentation you’ve just heard or talk to her she’s made herself available to do so.” the teacher calls out to the grade 9 & 10’s. I’ve just finished the second of three sessions of approx 750 students per audience. Marvelling as the large volume of students evacuate the space far more rapidly than they entered, when I notice a young person moving against the flow, trying to get to the front of the room.

When they are within earshot asks “May I speak with you for a minute?” I reply “Of course let’s sit down and chat.” We pull up a couple of chairs, side by side allowing them space, not directly looking at them as they grapple with how to get out what’s brought them up to the front to speak with someone they didn’t know 60 minutes ago. “There’s two things I’d like to talk to you about if that’s ok?” I nod and the dam walls burst.

Firstly, they want to discuss their use of medication for various behavioural diagnosis’ and the impact this medication could have had on their developing brain. I unpack with them the extensive journey they have had in this area, the supports that are in place for them, the gradual lowering of medication and coping mechanisms they are engaging - they are doing well, actively engaged and although there may be impact they are working with professionals to mitigate risk considering the circumstances. We talk about potentially exploring with their parents programs like Arrowsmith that could help via neuroplasticity of the brain to aid in cognitive growth for some aspects of their struggles.

“Ok that’s the first thing, now I’d like to talk about the second thing and it’s a bit personal. I’ve never taken drugs or had alcohol. I don’t want to and I used to think talks like this were ok but had no real relevance to people my age until I met my friend.” they explain “When I met them I knew they smoked cigarettes, used some drugs but I didn’t really think it was that bad. We became closer and that’s when I saw how bad this side of life can actually be. They were using drugs to try and cope with things but it wasnt helping. They couldn’t seem to move up and see anything could be different.” they pause and I ask “Had they lost Hope?” Nodding they said “Yes, I can kind of understand why they did what they did but this stuff that you were talking about is real life. They ended their life because they couldn’t see their way out and the drugs didn’t help one bit. This is REAL.”

My heart is breaking for this young person and the other that was overwhelmed to the point they couldn’t see light in the darkness and chose a permanent solution to a temporary problem, that they just couldn’t grasp. We talk for a bit longer, they are engaged with supports both inside and outside the school which is important. “Thank you for talking with me, I just wanted you to know that what you are doing is very important. I don’t think like I used to anymore about this type of thing and I am happy I got to speak with you today. Thankyou, see you later.”

Somewhere on this day, at this school we addressed our 100,000th student since we commenced NotEvenOnce in 2015. Perhaps it was this young person. I never tire of the conversations, interactions within and after our presentations. Young people are ususally quite open. This week alone in three schools I’ve spoken to others just like this one.

Their struggles are real, they really do want to talk, the opportunity to speak with someone from outside, with no judgement, to ask questions they may not be brave enough to ask someone they know well, it’s an absolute privilege.

Eating disorders, trauma, addictions, bullying, relationship issues, family dysfunction, homelessness and the list goes on. We’ve been asked to come and speak about Vaping today, but throughout we are interweaving the latest scientific and medical evidence with causation issues, why someone may want to use a substance to mask issues that aren’t being addressed, encouraging them to speak out about them. They need connection and we are committed to continuing this journey with young people and schools in this area, here’s to the next 100,000 students.

If you would like to support our work within NotEvenOnce and would like to discuss it further please connect with me via email tanya@notevenonce.org.au or if you would like to make a tax-deductible financial donation you can do so via PayPal here